


no ones going back

by Saturn_Atlas



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Human, Baseball bats, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Damaging property, Drinking, First Kiss, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Making Out, Parties, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, ventish fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24732736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturn_Atlas/pseuds/Saturn_Atlas
Summary: after a fight with his parents, Roman has a birthday party. Where he does what he wants, no consequences.(15-16 years old)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Platontic LAMP
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	no ones going back

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh

All things considered, tonight has been going pretty well. 

You're at a party with all your friends and it’s your birthday. Tonight is going to be awesome.

You’ll forget everything tonight. Especially yesterday.

The day before you had had a terrible argument with your parents. Well, it started out as an argument between your brother and your parents.

« “Lucky you! I’m not the only queer in this house!” Remus yelled back at your parents. 

You had come down stairs when you heard the shouts. Now, you stand frozen in place at the bottom of the stairs. You feel out of breath and grip onto the railing.

They haven’t seen you come down yet.

“What on earth are you blabbering about!” You hear your father yell back.

“No, no my perfect baby boy would never be one of those gays. No, he’s perfect, you’re just corrupting him!” You feel tears at the brim of your eyes as your mother cries.

“Corrupting him!? At least, I’m still attracted to girls. He’s more of a fag than I am!” Remus screams. 

You can’t believe he would just out you like that. And- and

He promised he wouldn’t say anything! He’s such a liar and now everythings-

Remus stomps past the stairs, and sees you. He has tears streaming down his face, just like you will soon. He looks at you with guilt on his face, before running past you and up the stairs.

It seems Mom tried following him. She sees you and that’s when the night gets worse. »

But it was all fine! Other than having a huge fight that probably woke the entire neighborhood. 

You are still mad at Remus, you trusted him and he betrayed that.

None of it will matter soon anyway. You’ve decided that last night was it. You just can’t deal with them. It’s not like, it’s not something you’ve planned- or tried- but you’ll succeed this time. 

So tonight you’re going completely unhinged. No reservations whatsoever. 

Maybe you’ll kiss the boy you’ve loved since fifth grade, maybe not. Who knows!

You’re going to do whatever you want. Not like you have to deal with the consequences.

This party is your party and it’s going to be great.

The party isn’t at your house, your favourite cousin Remy is hosting it for you (and Remus, but f him)

Basically, everyone you’ve ever known is here (aka the whole school pretty much) 

But you're especially glad that you’re bffs (best friends forever) made it.

You know that none of them like parties that much. 

_____________________

It wouldn’t be a party if there wasn’t alcohol! Hell yeah, you’re getting wasted tonight. 

Maybe you’ll die from alcohol poisoning! 

Despite your friends' protests, you start drinking. You almost feel guilty when you see Pat's face. He just looked so sad. 

But it won’t matter, you tell yourself. 

Virgil looks so disappointed and Logan is threatening to leave. You just down the bottle, you can’t feel guilt tonight.

You won’t feel at all.

You tell them you are going to find Remus (it’s his party too unfortunately) 

Virgil just puts his headphones on. Patton tells you to by safe and that he (and Virgil probably) will be by the balcony. You think Logan might actually be leaving. But your already of on your adventure to look back.

Remys house is huge and a nightmare to navigate. Th whole bottom floor has tons of people dancing to the DJ, that Remy hired for tonight. People are drinking outside by the pool. But there aren’t the many upstairs, mainly because no ones was supposed to be upstairs, you think.

You have to push past the crowd and you almost fall over like, five times. 

You stumble up the stairs and start searching through the many doors leading to (mostly) empty rooms. You do stumble upon a few couple doing couple things, before you find Remus.

He happened to be making out with his boyfriend? Whatever, that kid Janus. 

That has you slamming the door closed. No thank you. You don’t even think they heard with the music blaring downstairs.

____________________

It’s been about an hour and a half since the party really started. You’re already pretty tipsy.

And you’re also already making out with some random dude. Before today you would have never even dreamed of doing something like this, but how cares now. 

You’re not going to be what your parents want you to be.

« “My son is going to marry a beautiful young lady. He is nothing like you. I can’t even call you my son, Remus.”« 

You don’t even know his name, but you could care less.

He’s not actually very good kissing. You push him away, totaling ditching him. And make your way to the balcony to maybe find Patton (hopefully Virgil).

On your way you steal a couple peoples drinks and down them too.

You find both of them.

But you see Patton first and it seems he got Logan to stay. They seem to be watching something on Patton’s phone on the floor. Patton seems fine and busy, so you don’t bother him. You don’t really feel like arguing right now anyway, so you go look for Virgil.

You see Virgil actually outside on the balcony. 

You pause for a moment, he looks so beautiful you think to yourself. He has his headphones on, probably listening to some dumb emo music. You almost just want to stand there and look at him, instead of going and talking to him.

____________________

He’s watching the people below him, you gaze down with him. He’s watching the people in the pool.

Even though you’ve sat down across from him, he doesn’t seem to notice you. Or maybe he just doesn’t care?

With the music blaring downstairs, if you listen you can hear his music playing loudly in his ears.

Your gaze lingers before tapping him in the shoulder.

His head whips around to you and he stares wide-eyed. You took him out of the zone he was in. And now he’s glaring at you.

“What do you want princey.” He says while pulling his headphones down.

You realize he’s probably mad that you ditched them (well- was it really ditching?) and got yourself drunk.

But, it’s your party and tonight you have no rules.

You sigh, “I know you’re probably angry with me. But, tonight’s my birthday and I just wanted to let go for one night. Is that to much to ask for?”

“Well, I’m sorry for being worried about you!” He snapped.

You wince at his tone. You are also stuck with a marvellous idea!

“Just one night! You can come with me! Let’s go do something crazy, I promise I won’t drink anymore tonight if you come.” You plead.

You go back and forth for a few minutes until he (hesitantly) agrees.

You clap your hands together and stand up. As you grab his hand you see a hint of a smile on his face. He lets you lead him away.

___________________

You lead him to the garage. You can’t believe your doing this.

The garage is cold and dark. So you have to flick the switch on, and a dim light flows through the room.

You walk over to the front of the garage. 

You grab a baseball bat and hand the other one to him.

You used to come in here all the time in the summer when it was boiling outside. It was always a cold room.

Virgil looks confused as he asks, “So, what are we doing?” He looks down at the bat he has in his hands then back at you.

Your smile widens and all you say is, “I’m not going to be what anyone else wants me to be.”

His brow furrows as you press the button to open the garage. 

“What does that mean!?” He tries to ask as you pull him out of the garage and into the night air.

The stars are out tonight.

You just tell him to follow you as you head back to your house. 

Oh boy, tonight is just getting started.

___________________

“Sooo, why are we going to your house?” Virgil asks as he jogs up to you.

He has the baseball bat over his shoulder.

“Obviously, we are going to smash my parents cars.” You say like it's the most casual thing in the world.

He stops walking and you glance up at him.

He’s staring back down at you.

“What- wait, no. We are not doing that! You would get in so much trouble! Why would you want to do that anyway!?” He says nervously.

You know virgil well enough that you know he won’t help unless you give him a good reason. You frown, looks like you’ll have to tell him about your fight.

“Well, I got into a huge fight with my parents about me being gay, because Remus outed me when he was in a fight with them. ” there short and simple, “and you know how my parents are.” You finish in a quieter voice.

Virgil looks shocked and angry. 

Your about to say something when he starts walking again.

“Okay, fuck you’re parents. I know how shitty they are. And Remus!? Like what the hell! I swear I’m gonna murder him after this.” He fumes and speeds up.

Honestly, virgil's reaction just boosts your mood. You kinda like that his angry on your behalf.

__________________

Holy fuck, this is fun. You both made it to your house in like 15 minutes. 

Both your parents are at dinner tonight. Because of you and Remus going to Remy’s for your b-day. 

Thinking back, you don’t think you’ve actually seen Remy and all today. But what ever,

Even though ruining your parents property is amazing and super fun. Watching Virgil is a lot more fun.

He just looks hot okay. He is just hot.

By the time the vehicles are un repairable, you and Virgil are panting. You sit down on the curb. Trying to catch your breath.

Your surprised the neighbours didn’t wake up.

“That. Was. Awesome.” Virgil says grin on his face. He looks so carefree.

You grin right on back, “yeah, that was amazing. I wonder how they’ll react.”

All the worry seeps back into him. He turns to you and starts mumbling about you getting in trouble.

You laugh and say it won’t matter cause you won’t ever see their reactions. You have no consequences.

He questions you and you realize that was the wrong thing to say. You don’t want him to become suspicious. Well, more than he has gotten.

You stumble over what to do. 

Then say fuck it and kiss him. You’ve been wanting to do this for years. 

Tonight was your last chance anyway. Better to be let down on your last-

You didn’t expect him to kiss you back. His hand cups your face and you pull him closer to you. You close your eyes and push back against he lips. And it feels so right, like it’s where you were always meant to be.

You kiss for what seem like forever. Before it can dissolve into a make out session, he pulls away. Both of you are completely red in the face and gasping for air.

You realize the alcohol has had more effect on you then you thought. Seeing as you can’t even regret what you just did.

You pull him back into another kiss and whisper you love him. You think he whispered it back. 

_________________

Your all giddy when you make it back. And for the first time that night you doubt yourself.

Maybe you can be happy now, you think for a brief second. 

But, no you’d still have to hide and you’re done hiding. What happens tonight has no consequences.

Virgil and you get separated, so you go to find Patton again. And hopefully Logan, you don’t want to end on a bad note with any of them.

Finding them wasn’t hard. You went upstairs to see if they were in the same spot, they were.

Except, Logan was leaning on Patton’s shoulder. You can see both of them blushing even in the dimness of the hall.

You chuckle into your hand and make your way over.

When they realize you’re there, they both bolt upright and move away from each other. The blush even stronger.

You plop down into front of them.

No one says anything for a moment. Logan is adjusting his glasses and Patton is fiddling with his cardigan. 

Even though they’re both still blushing, you can see Logan is still frustrated with you. Patton seems to be okay.

Your speak first, “I see y’all are getting all cutesy over here.”

Both of them start stammering excuses and try to deflect. You decide not to dwell on that topic. You have more important things to discuss anyway.

You apologize for earlier and promise to never do it again. (not like you’ll ever get the chance too) Patton immediately accepts, but Logan is slightly more reluctant. But It’s fine.

You change the topic, to tell them about You and Virgil kissing. You leave out that you kissed after destroying your parents cars.

Patton gets really excited and demands to hear all about it. Logan just watches with an amused look on his face.

You talk for about another half hour. You realize the party has been going on for about three and a half hours. You pull Patton and Logan into a hug. You tell them you love them and that they are the bestest friends ever.

________________

Even though you’re still mad at Remus, you don’t want to leave without a proper goodbye. He’s still you family and you still love him, unfortunately.

Finding him was harder, you checked all up stairs, before finding him on the balcony. You hear people below chanting something. But, you see him standing on the railing and all you see is red.

You run out and just as he’s about to jump, you grab him. You pull him back up.

The crowd below boos and starts to walk away. Remus turns to you looking like he’s gong to get mad. You see all angry drain from his face as you pull him into a hug.

You don’t know why that scared you so much. Well, you do but you don’t like thinking about that.

Suddenly, he’s mumbling into your shoulder that he’s sorry about yesterday and how he never meant any of it. You just say that it’s okay and you love him. Also that he’s stupid for trying to jump into the pool from the balcony.

You both have tears in your eyes, but you laugh together anyway.

Everything’s done. No regrets.

_____________________

You kinda expected it to hurt. Maybe your just to busy focusing on other things.

Tonight was awesome. You left early and texted everyone. Now you’re home alone for at least another hour.

You hope that all you need. You’re in the bath room and it’s red everywhere.

no ones going back.

**Author's Note:**

> « « is for italics because I have a dumb monkey brain


End file.
